You know, I’d totally blame my impatience of stupid posts on being a new mom and having no time to read stupid crap on Facebook. But the fact of the matter is that I’ve always side-eyed these types of posts because they don’t make any sense and they are not effective. Well, they effectively annoy me, so I guess there’s that.
Knowing that my well-educated friends on Facebook are posting these things kills me. Kills me.
Here’s a list of Facebook posts that I see by my friends and I can only #sideeye them:
Stop Posting These Things on Facebook
5. The “blah blah blah terms of service, hey Facebook you are not allowed to use my photos, blah blah blah” blanket statement.
First of all, you do not own Facebook. Facebook owns Facebook. You are using a platform that you do not own. Read the TOS. Second, you just copied and pasted a giant statement that you probably didn’t research. What law is UCC 1 1-308 blah blah blah?
You can complain all you want and I don’t know, protest in the streets of Menlo Park, CA (Facebook HQ, duh), but you know… I doubt Zuckerberg and Friends will listen to you complain about their platform on their platform.
4. “I’m going to break up the negativity on my feed by posting baby animals.”
I love me some cute baby animals but your status update just pissed me off. You can hide status updates from people and UN-LIKE brand pages that post negative (?) posts. You can always un-LIKE or un-follow CNN Breaking News or NBCLA if you don’t want to read any more about murder.
You can also log off.
3. The fake post “Yay I won the lottery!” but really it’s a campaign for <insert some form of> cancer awareness.
Really? F YOU.
How exactly does that increase awareness to breast cancer?
Go give some money to cancer research instead. Or volunteer your lazy your ass.
2. Another lie – “I ate my purple underwear.” Ta da! You must do the same – this is a game!
I hate you.
and the number one thing I hate…
1. myself because I am friends with these people.
And the fact that I have to type this: this is meant to be humorous. Stop feeling butt-hurt.