Remember when I mentioned that I created an email for Toddler Spawn? That way, anyone from the family or friends can email her greetings and she’ll be able to read a “historical,” or rather, a chronological database of emails? I should really keep up with it because I got some gems that need to be remembered.
Why not post a few here?
Sh*t My Toddler Says
In the last, say, 60 days, these are things have Toddler Spawn has said to me – either in passing or to my face:
- She will sit on her bed without a pull-up or underwear and fart. “I farted in bed.” (Cackle) I’ll tell her that she just farted in her own bed, and she just cackles. Unsanitary.
- While I’m trying to get a nighttime pull-up on her, she’ll come real close to my face, touch my boobs and move her butt to my boobs. And fart. “I farted on your boobies.”
- She will negotiate her comfort nursing to bed. “I’m only going to get two mimis.” And she’ll show me two fingers to emphasize the point. (Mimis is what we call boobs/milk.) Since I only have two boobs, she’s wins.
- “Don’t sing!!!!!!!!!” She will scream at me while I’m silently washing dishes.
- “I want you to sing Aue Aue!!!!!!!” I’m in the middle of singing “Aue Aue.”
- “I’m going to pee in the bathtub!” She says this with a grin. I look at her like she’s crazy, “You know I have to put you in the water, right?”
- “This is my vagina.”
- “I’m going to put lotion on my butt!”
- We’ve been trying to get her to get used to sleeping in her own bed. “I’m sleeping with you because I’m little. I’m not a big girl.”
- I pack a lot in her lunchbag – lunch, at least two snacks. Usually she hasn’t eaten her second snack. Nevertheless, when I pick her up, “Did you bring me a treat?”
Have a wonderful long weekend.
Let me know in the comments or on social if you’ve got some gems.